


Luke helps Alex escape the rabbit hole

by alley_oops, jennandanica



Series: Citadel: Luke Evans and Alex Skarsgard [157]
Category: Actor RPF, Citadel (Journalfen RPG), True Blood RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 11:56:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14104866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alley_oops/pseuds/alley_oops, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandanica/pseuds/jennandanica





	Luke helps Alex escape the rabbit hole

[backdated to early 2014, when Luke was filming the remake of _The Crow_ ]  
[directly follows [this very unexpected outcome](http://citadel-luke.dreamwidth.org/4759.html)]

Alex doesn't know how many hours later it is when he wakes, but he stumbles half-blind into the bath and takes a piss, leaning against the wall as if his head is simply too heavy for his body anymore. When he washes up he splashes cold water onto his face, trying to shock his brain out of its lingering fog. Whatever the hell happened this afternoon, unfamiliar shame sets in now, and he slowly gets back in bed, sitting up against the headboard so that he can meet his lover's eyes.

"How do you feel now?" Luke asks softly. He's already cracked open one of the water bottles he brought in earlier and he hands it to Alex, pulling the covers around his own waist.

With a soft murmur of thanks, Alex takes a long sip, and attempts to use the time to organize his thoughts. "I feel... weird," he admits quietly, "but not as weird as before." He frowns down at his bare feet for a long moment, then turns to Luke as an errant idea strikes him. "You know what... no. Never mind."

"What?" Luke asks, unwilling to let it go.

Alex swallows more water, then tips his head back to rest against the wall, shutting his eyes. "It just occurred to me," he finally says, "that I've never really bottomed for anyone. Not the way I did with you today." He meets Luke's eyes. "I mean, when I've let people fuck me... It was just physical, you know? My head was never in it, before."

Luke stills, simply staring at Alex for a moment. "You think this is because I fucked you at lunch?"

"No, I think-- No. I mean yes," Alex answers, like that's any kind of answer at all. "It's not that you fucked me, it was how you... How you talked and... You kind of... It was sort of like you switched," he says, stumbling through an explanation which he himself doesn't yet understand. "And, like... like, I submitted to you. Or maybe I didn't." He shakes his head. "I don't actually know. I've never submitted mentally in my life."

"I didn't mean to," Luke says softly, finally, after he's digested those words, his stomach rolling uneasily. "I'm sorry. I thought." That they were just having fun. That _he_ couldn't switch. "I never would have done it if I had any idea you'd end up feeling like this."

The tone of Luke's voice pulls Alex out of his rambling introspection, and he looks at his lover curiously. "No," he says, studying Luke's face. Then, more definitely, " _No_. Luke, hey." He quickly sets his water on the bedside table and then all but drags Luke into his lap. "Don't. Don't blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. There _is_ nothing wrong."

"How can you say that?" Luke demands even as he tells himself he should be focusing on Alex. On hearing him out. On helping him. "You were feeling _awful_ and one minute you were clinging to me and the next you couldn't stand to have me touch you."

"I... _No_ , Luke! Listen to me," Alex commands, taking his boy's face between his hands so that it's all but impossible for their eyes not to lock. Yeah, whatever weird tricks his brain pulled on him earlier, Alex is definitely firmly back in his own head now. "Shit happens. People react in ways they never thought they would. Someone's mind can--" Abruptly his words halt, but his mouth hangs open in astonishment. "Holy shit," Alex whispers, comprehension suddenly exploding through him like a grenade blast. "I... I think I was in subdrop."

"But you're not..." Luke trails off, biting at his bottom lip, not wanting to say anything that might fuck this up further.

"Not...? What?" Alex is still reeling from his epiphany, and he can't even figure out where Luke was going with that. "What, not, I'm not what?"

"I thought you had to be submissive to experience subdrop," Luke says quietly.

Alex's brow furrows, and he considers Luke, chewing over his words in speculation. "Well, maybe that's why I was such a fucking wreck," he says finally. "I'm 37 years old, _älskling_ , and you're the only person who has ever taken me outside of my own head that way, ever. I didn't have a fucking clue how to cope with it."

Put that way, Luke feels better. Like maybe it's something to feel proud of instead of guilty. "And I didn't know what was going on because I've never seen it before. I barely recognize it in myself."

Now Alex strokes Luke's cheek, needing the simple caress for himself. He nods thoughtfully. "And... and I didn't know that it didn't need to be a panic-type situation. Because it was so unfamiliar that I completely couldn't see that I was safe with you. I'm always safe with you."

Luke nods, leaning into the touch. "Always," he promises. "You may be my sir but you're also my husband and we take care of each other. I actually told Peter I wasn't feeling well so we could come home."

Alex's smile is bittersweet - he hates that he's already caused so much shit at work for Luke - but he brings his lover in for a tight hug. "Thank you," he whispers.

"I was really worried about you," Luke confesses, the words not even beginning to convey the terror he felt.

"I was so fucked up," Alex agrees, pressing a kiss to Luke's hair. Remembering how he actually shrank away from his lover's touch, and wishing like hell he could block that out. "I need you to forget it. Can you do that for me?"

"I don't know," Luke says softly. "But I'll try." His heart thumping when he asks, "I guess we shouldn't do that again."

"Shouldn't...?" Alex smiles crookedly, and comes dangerously close to blushing. "Oh. Right. With you growling orders and shoving me over furniture... You're right. Next time, we should probably talk about that first."

"And maybe do it at home," Luke suggests, wondering whether he'd even be able to take the chance Alex would react the same way again. And even though he doesn't really feel like he was doing much growling or shoving, what matters is how it felt to Alex.

"We'll do it wherever we decide," Alex says, threading his fingers through Luke's hair. "When we both feel ready. You'll fuck the hell out of my ass, and I'll know that if I break, you'll protect me."

Usually it's Luke being the logical one, the voice of reason, the one who points out that when they fuck up, they fuck up together, but now it's obviously Alex's turn. And maybe that's because Luke's already been feeling fragile or maybe it's just what happens, that you take turns being strong, taking care of each other, picking up the pieces when things go awry. But regardless, Luke knows he needs to have faith in Alex, like he asks Alex to have faith in him, and trust that Alex knows he's strong enough, knows what he can handle. "I will," he promises. "I always will."

Alex nods, tightening his grip on Luke's hair just enough to pull him in for a kiss. And finally - finally! - his characteristic arousal shows up for duty. "I want you on top of me," he whispers, reaching between them and gently stroking Luke's cock. "Let me be deep inside you."

"Are you sure?" Luke asks, even as his body responds instantly to Alex's touch. "We don't have to..."

"I have to," Alex corrects, and quirks a grin, then licks his lover's mouth. "You can just come along for the ride, if you want."

"No way," Luke says with a laugh, shifting so he's straddling Alex and kissing him deeply. "I'm one hundred per cent in."

"But I'm not," Alex teases, catching Luke's nape and pulling him in for another longer kiss. "Go ahead and fix that."

"Yes, sir," Luke responds, his voice softer this time, his eyes locked on Alex's as he reaches behind him, lining his lover's cock up with his hole and slowly sinking down.

Alex inhales a ragged breath. He lets his hands rest lightly on Luke's hips, just to touch. Not to control.

Luke whimpers, a shiver running through him, the stretch making his cock jerk, spit wet at its tip. "Oh god..." Both hands behind him now, spreading his cheeks, making sure he gets every last inch inside him, buried deep inside him.

"Yes, _älskling_ ," Alex whispers, his throat hoarse. He leans back against the headboard - but he doesn't stop touching - and begins to lift his hips, pumping upwards into his boy.

Moan after moan spilling from his lips, Luke keeps himself spread open for Alex's thrusts, lifting and dropping to meet every one. "Oh god... I love your cock..."

Every one of Alex's nerves tingles like he might just burst into flames. "Yours," he grates out. "For you."

Luke nods. "Mine," moaning as he moves on Alex, "Fucking me, hurting me, making me feel so good..." Crying out as that gorgeous perfect cock rakes over that bundle of nerves inside him.

It's senseless, but Alex doesn't want to hear about pain right now. He wraps his arms around Luke, hugging him tight against his chest so that now they move as one. "Giving you pleasure."

Luke nods again, kissing Alex, licking into his mouth as he moans how good it feels. "Love this, love this, you, so much..."

"God, yes." Alex slowly rakes his fingernails down Luke's back, from shoulder to hip. "Mine. _Min!_ "

Luke cries out, shuddering hard, his cock kicking up, smearing precome between them. "Oh, god, I'm gonna come. Sir, please!" he begs, moving harder, faster.

"For me," Alex grates out, and sinks his teeth into Luke's shoulder.

That's it. The moment Alex's teeth touch his skin, the second the command sinks in, Luke wails, shoving himself down hard on Alex's cock, his own spurting wildly between them.

"Yes!" Alex comes like a raging storm, thrusting into his lover like he can somehow break down all physical barriers between them, unify them completely. "Luke--!" He shudders hard, reeling from the impact and letting himself simply be lost in Luke.

Luke wraps his arms around Alex's neck and clings, ignoring the mess between them.

"Yes," Alex whispers again. He slips a hand into Luke's hair and drags his head back, covering his mouth in a soul-deep kiss.

"Mm." Luke smiles when they finally pull back, searching Alex's eyes, making sure everything's okay again. That everything's right. "I love you," he whispers. "Sometimes I think my heart will burst with how much."

Alex's mouth quirks into his usual smile; usual in that it's just for Luke, anyway. "No bursting," he orders teasingly. "Melting, oozing, exploding... Yeah, all that's okay."

Luke laughs. "So now we've both scared the hell out of each other in the space of a week," he says with a soft smile. "Think we can manage to not to do that again for a good six months at least?"

"Yes. Please," Alex emphasizes, and chuckles. "Horror movies all weekend plus cuddling on the couch. That's as scary as it gets."

"That sounds wonderful," Luke says and kisses Alex again, softly this time. Just enjoying this moment between them.  



End file.
